Sixteen year old care leaver Maddy finds herself alone in a strange city. Her flat becomes the local haven for small time dealers to sort their goods and Maddy is rewarded generously. Amphetamine gives her the confidence she has searched for all her life and she rapidly becomes dependent on it. Amphetamine mixed with copious amounts of LSD take her to the brink of insanity which forces her complete abstinence for a few months but it isn’t long before she relapses.
She meets Will, a charming older man, who introduces her to the exquisite pleasures of the needle. Maddy becomes as addicted to Will as she is to the needle but beneath his alluring veneer, Will is a violent, twisted psychopath who abuses Maddy ruthlessly in every manner possible.
Drug-induced psychotic episodes threaten to steal her sanity and her drug worker has no idea how to help her. Treatment options for amphetamine addiction are non-existent and without any family support, Maddy descends quickly into a stimulant hell. Maddy rediscovers the religion of her childhood in a desperate attempt at recovery but this only serves to aggravate her stimulant induced delusions.
Eventually she succumbs to the pull of heroin. When she contracts hepatitis B, she tries hard to get clean but she meets a charismatic heroin addict and before long she is using again. Within weeks she falls pregnant. She surprises everyone by her sheer strength of mind and love for her unborn child. After a rapid methadone reduction and no other form of specialised relapse prevention support, Maddy becomes completely abstinent and after the birth of her daughter puts her own alternatives in place to stay clean.
Born into a religious family on the Wirral, near Liverpool, private convent school pupil Maddy was placed into voluntary care at the age of twelve. She lived in numerous children’s homes before being discharged at sixteen and rapidly falling into a depraved world of drug dependency and abusive men. After recovering from her addictions, Maddy went onto qualify in various holistic therapies and counselling, eventually working with people suffering from substance abuse and women who had been victims of domestic violence.
Maddy began writing poetry while still caught within the thralls...
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