sections:
As a child, the only really stable figure in my life was my Grandpa and being with him made for happy times. However, home life was strained. My mother was distant, and from a very early age I was abused by my father, (and others) but found a special way to survive, called ‘dissociation’.
Dissociation proved a very useful tool because it allowed me, - Helen, - who was being abused physically and sexually, to escape mentally. My body and mind seemed to separate: While my body was being hurt, I no longer felt it, because my mind managed to escape to a ‘safe’ place. As I developed these other personalities everything became mentally compartmentalised and I, - Helen, survived into my early 20’s without any knowledge of the abuse. Then things seemed to rapidly change: I experienced ‘creepy’ feelings in the presence of my father and began to have flashbacks which gradually built up a bigger picture, and I came to the awful realisation that I had been abused, - not only in childhood, but up to that very present time in my life.
As a grown woman, I decided to confront my father, but I misjudged his reaction to being challenged - He brutally raped me, which brought back feelings of fear and silenced me once again. After much contact with mental health services I was eventually diagnosed as suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder (M.P.D). During subsequent therapy sessions I frequently ‘switched’ between different personalities, all of whom contributed to the bigger picture with the memories they talked about. In fact, once the cupboard door had been opened many skeletons fell out and I recalled previously repressed memories of ritual abuse with satanic overtones, such as the sacrifice of animals, cannibalism, rape and all manners of torture.
book reviews
Sorry, no book reviews are available.
subscribe to agency's newsletter
Andrew Lownie writes a monthly newsletter, which includes details of the Agency's latest news as well as advice for authors. If you would like to receive this free newsletter, please enter your email address in the box below.