The Arrse Guide to the British Army
Des Astor

The Arrse Guide to the British Army

Guaranteed coarse, scatological and offensive, the Army Rumour Service ( is the British Army’s online meeting place for chat, bullshit, whinging and schimpfing*. Read by everyone in Britain’s Defence community from the Secretary of State downwards, Arrse is where you will find the inside view from britain’s soldiers.

Now you too can join in the fun with the easily digestible, profusely illustrated, highly absorbent ‘Arrse Guide to the British Army’. Edited by one of the most extensively passed-over officers in British military history, the Arrse Guide is a unique inside view of what the British Army really is and how it really works.

Along with extensive information about the regiments and corps of the British Army, the weapons and equipment they use, where they live and work, who joins and how they get in, you can learn how to:

  • Get that crucial ‘ally’ look
  • Make your own wank sock
  • Mock the RAF
  • Walt with Giants
  • Escape the ‘Leprechaun of Death’

25% of the income from this book is being donated to Arrse’s own ‘Holidays for Heroes’ fund which pays for wounded serving personnel to holiday and recuperate with their families.

*See book for details.

Book Details:

  • Author: Des Astor
  • On Submission
  • Rights Sold
    • UK: Transworld
Des Astor

Des Astor

Des Astor realised he wanted to join the British Army whilst watching the Bloody Sunday riots on television in 1972. Commissioned into the 2nd Battalion the Loamshire Regiment in 1975, he has since served in trouble spots across the globe, ranging from Basra to Blackpool. As OC HQ Company of the Loamshires, Des oversaw the merger with the Royal Blankshire Regiment and went on to serve as second in command of the newly formed 4th Battalion, the Amalgamees (Blankshire and Loamshire) (V) before their conversion to a TA RLC catering regiment in 1996. After a successful tour as SO2 G4 (Pest C...
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Book Reviews

  • "  a rude, boisterous, boysy collection of hilarious truths about what the modern British army is really like... a philosophical as well as an entertainment investment. a philosophical as well as an entertainment investment."
    London Review of Books
  • "  Full of information about the Army, much of which is irreverent and very, very funny – especially the savage observations of military stereotypes. Accompanied by many excellent illustrations, this is more than just a Christmas joke book, and also contains much that is of use for anybody with a passing interest in or connected to the Army. "
  • "  The funniest book I have ever read! Brilliant fun; all you ever wanted to know, thought you knew, all you didn't even know you wanted to know (and many things you definitely didn't need to know) about army life. Cleverly written and ideal to dip into or just read from cover to cover. Would be enjoyed by those in the forces, those thinking about joining the forces and those who don't! Hilarious fun and guaranteed to make even the most morose reader chortle. Not a book for the under twelves though, as it is a crude and lewd collection of anecdotes and snippets of useful and useless information about life in the army. Not a book I would have personally chosen to read but once I picked it up I didn't want to put it down. An excellent choice for Christmas for both sexes. Lovely presentation in a hard cover, very easy to read with excellent illustrations and photographs. A great coffee table book and definitely more useful than so-called interior design books that people like to leave lying around for their visitors to peruse."
    New Books Mag