30 Mar 2009
Andrew Lownie offers some submission tips with examples from recent submissions of what not to do.
1/ ADDRESS THE AGENT PROPERLY
Dear Ms. Leonie,
Dear Lownie Agent:
Dr Mr Andrew
Dear Literary Coordinator:
My dear Andrew Lownie,
Dear Sir Andrew Lownie,
Respected, Andrew Lownie
Hey! Here is Juana. Wanna date?
Dear Most Beloved The Andrew Lownie Literary Agency Ltd
I greet you in the wonderful name of Christ Jesus,
Dear Reputable Literary Agent,
Hello, and warm Winter greetings to you
Hello and greetings of the bountifully majestic day to all at the Andrew Lownie.; Literary Agent. At the outset an astronomical honor writing to you.
2/ DON’T MAKE AMBITIOUS CLAIMS
“…it’s the second ‘The Catcher in the Rye .’
“ It’s going to liberate America and the rest of the world. “
The true emotion and sarcasm and the sharp of the language will make it a rare gem in the world of literature.
It’s in a genre all its own (Humor, Inspirational, Spiritual, Pop Culture, Contemporary , Multicultural, Self-help, Fantasy, Adventure, Literary, Motivation, Humanities, Metaphysical, Ethnic, Romance and Life Style
People call me "The Renaissance Man". I write poems, pieces, business books, financial thrillers, draw and have invented 2 math laws!
I am the author of the future bestseller
“Please find enclosed a copy of what quite simply must be the great self-help book ever written. This is a genuine publication by one of the most original and freethinking masters of conceptual reality in the world today.”
3/ FLATTERY RARELY WORKS
Stop searching. You found me. Yes, I’m that famous, unknown writer you’ve been seeking. (By the way, have I told you how exceptionally attractive you look today?)
You do have a very friendly face and I'm looking for a friendly agent.
I liked you picture and so decided that you should be one of the first in your business to receive my announcement that after seven years of writing in the reclusive setting of the Mingus Mountains in Northern Arizona, my literary properties are in auction.
Dear Agenting God and or Publishing Icon,
First, congratulations on your most auspicious surname which must make you a magnet for authors far and wide--for better or worse.
4/ IS HONESTY THE BEST POLICY?
“I am no Rooney or Beckham and do not have the assets of Jordan so to get something published in these changing times is a bit of an uphill struggle.”
"I would be most grateful if you could spare a few minutes to peruse the very amateurish scribblings I have enclosed...If , however, you consider it to be an enormous load of old rubbish, well,I'm sorry for wasting your time and let's hope the Great British Summer puts in a belated appearance very soon."
Its a mish mash of fantasy v other stuff written by a simpleton ...there has to be a market for that!
I have never attempted to write a book before and I I have no great illusions about the merits of this one..
My work seems to be hard to categorise and this makes finding an agent difficult, which is why I'm writing to Andrew Lownie as I see he has a rather mixed bag of books
Do you think the story of realising that I am the reincarnation of Jack Kerouac would be of any interest to anyone other that me ?
I will be completely honest. I don’t know what genre of books that you specialize in but I have chosen you to receive one of my multiple queries.
5/ BE GRAMMATICAL
I'm a beginning writer.
I wrote a book (have you heard this before?) and would like to submit it for consideration for publishing
i have completed a movie based novel, which i believe can attract a sell to film makers and lovers of unique ideas.I really need your go ahead approval for sobmission
I wrote a book in English. Obviously it contains many mistakes becouse English is not my mother tongue but the contents are good
I think about me:I am one of the best writer,who living now.
It is better than most things which have been written before
"I would ask you some information around the job that you could develop about my novel. I have been writing for many years and I have published two books,"
I know the extreme importance of good editing and I'm careful to send you well-edited work. I feel that my memoir is definately "something different"
I am very interested in having your office access my novel, being an adventure fantasy aimed at the young adult.