Reflections on Married to a Bedouin
Marguerite van Geldermalsen, whose memoir Married to a Bedouin has just been optioned for film, reflects on the writing of the book.
Marrying my Bedouin husband in 1978 and settling into his cave in Petra opened a whole new world for me… and publishing my memoir about it 28 years later opened another. Back then I somehow imagined I might disappear into the ancient site, past the end of the dirt road, and nothing would be heard, or expected, of me again. But it wasn’t to be like that. Travellers passed through and told others, Queen Elizabeth came and we were presented to her (as I was the only British subject in the area) and we were nudged further into the public eye. Mohammad took all these repercussions of his marriage proposal in stride as we put New Zealand onto the map for the Bedouin and Jordan into the itinerary of many New Zealanders and I am sure he would be proud to see the response to the publication of my memoir, Married to a Bedouin.
Petra (back in 1978 a hidden city; little known and less visited) is now a prime tourist spot, one of the ‘new 7 wonders’ of the world, and tourists come from all over to see it. Many have done their research and with the help of the internet know that Married to a Bedouin is the book to read if you want something personal not just historical and practical facts. A good friend here describes it as an ‘accidental ethnography’; because through writing down the anecdotes I have been telling for years I have recorded the last seven years of the Bedouin habitation of Petra before we were moved to a settlement with houses, running water and electricity.
Ever since I married Mohammad tourists had been encouraging me to write a book… ‘You married a Bedouin? You lived in a cave? You should write a book’, but it had come about slowly. At first I had no such intentions, years later I got to thinking ‘maybe someday I will’. That was when I knew if I ever did I wanted to do it myself and then one day in 1997 a visitor had urged me, ‘Write those stories down even if you only do it for your children… and start now; the longer you leave it the more you’ll forget’, and so I had started. Of course my busy life as wife and mother and partner with Mohammad in our concession in Petra continued so I hadn’t finished it but later, after Mohammad’s death in 2002, I moved to Sydney and picked it up again.
It was during publication week, while talking with my publisher Lennie Goodings that I realised ‘this’ was the book I wanted to write and that the place to publicise and market it was Petra. So after 4 years in Sydney I live again in my house in the Bedouin village overlooking Petra and enjoy once again being in Jordan.
My son Raami and I reopened our concession inside Petra where we sell pieces of handmade silver jewellery and copies of my book. We meet people daily who have read it (in English, German, Dutch, Slovenian, Romanian Portuguese or Swedish), some of who are visiting because of it, others who are so excited to meet me that I am humbled by their tears and many others (French, Italian and Spanish most regularly) who complain that Married to a Bedouin isn’t yet available in their language (‘Qué pena!’ ‘Un damage!’). The Spanish have even more of an interest because there is a well publicised Spanish woman married to a Bedouin here as well.
My Bedouin friends fitted me right back in with prideful anecdotes. My nephew Tawiq said, ‘A tourist told me she had loved your book and I could tell her, “she is my aunt”’, and my brother-in-law Hussein tells the tourists, ‘the chapter called A Beautiful Bedouin Baby is about me!’
I’m glad that my book waited for the internet to happen and that I could get an ADSL connection in my village (despite it taking 3 months and being very slow) because just I love receiving emails such as this; Thank you so much for your beautiful book - it has provided such a fascinating glimpse of your life and filled me with such optimism. Your window into the land and people is so special and better than any guide book or gleaming advert.
And this; I just finished your book and my smile is wide and deep.
Mohammad is no longer sharing my days but the adventure he gave me is ongoing.
i am a canadian in dubai teaching. i determined that while i am here, i would read literature of the region. Coming across your book was such a treat. your story of personal growth and passion is quite remarkable. What a life. i have passed the book to my friend and told her she must read it before our trip to Petra march 18. In truth, the descriptions and tales from your book are a greater pull than the secrets of the ancient city! Thankyou for sharing your fascinating story, and letting us glimpse this culture.
I read the introduction of your book, in English, and am amazed at your experience. I have had a similar experience by moving to Italy 21 years ago. My Italian friends would love to read your book but as you said it is still not available in Italian. I am offering to translate it in Italian, if you want. I am Italian, a high school teacher, here in Italy and with a university degree in Foreign languages. I have been doing translation work for the past 20 years from English/Italian, Italian/English. Congratulations for your book! Ciao! Giovanna
i just finished reading your book and i really really enjoyed it that i bought one for my girlfriend. i found out about your book from the 2009 edition of rough guide to jordan we are travelling to jerusalem jordan and egypt in 2011 and of course petra in fact we voted for petra to be in the seven wonders of the world hope to see you in 2011 bye, nellie
Also just finished your book, and was so moved and touched by it. I am an Australian woman who has spent many years working in countries where I am ‘an outsider’ and I so admired the way you seemed able to drop the feeling of needing to ‘do’ something all the time, and just be where and how you were. Brave, too, not to try and ‘fit in’ all the time. You seemed able to take things in your stride and adapt so well to what was such a different way of life. The book feels very honest and I feel so lucky that it was passed to me to read. I wish you keep writing, as your insights, observations and thoughts were a real pleasure to read (My husband was annoyed I couldn’t put it down and sent our 2 yr old back to him to play with while I finished it!). Thank you.
Hi I have just finished reading your book and loved every single word! I am living and working in Abu Dhabi at the moment. Thank you for sharing your experience of love and life. It touched my heart and I will never forget your story.