Paul Merrill biography
Paul Merrill was an award-winning women’s magazine editor when he was inexplicably chosen for the biggest magazine launch in British history. When the weekly men’s magazines, ZOO and Nuts burst onto the market, they transformed the magazine landscape and thrust Paul stumbling haplessly into a bewildering and surreal world in the full glare of the media spotlight.
He ran competitions to find the country’s Randiest Nanna, Hottest Horse Dentist and Ugliest Baby, and offered prizes of a ‘boob job for your girlfriend’, lesbian wedding, divorce, ‘voluntary euthanasia for a loved one’ and a time machine (a clock).
He judged a naked beauty contest with Leo Sayer, attacked Tony Blair with a glove puppet, upset Donald Trump, threw a biscuit at Christopher Lee, received advice on stain removal from Gordon Brown and threatened Abi Titmuss with her own knickers.
In a series of other debacles, he tried to burn Spit the Dog, got a Groundforce star arrested in Greece and made Cheryl Cole burst into tears. He also wheeled Mo Mowlam through central London on a motorized bed when she became his sex agony aunt.
After an understandable backlash from right-thinking people across the nation, he launched a search for Britain’s Sexiest Feminist.
Then he was unexpectedly deported to Australia to launch the magazine there, and things got even more bizarre and, at times, disastrous.
In an eventful few years, he received three death threats, persuaded the Prime Minister’s daughter to strip off, adopted a four-legged chicken, was nearly sent to jail for inciting terrorism, had a dwarf basted and lost 130,000 pairs of inflatable boobs in the South China Sea.
Along the way, he received a personal letter from Arnold Schwarzenegger banning him from California, gave a serial killer his home address and upset Al Jazeera by offering Oprah Winfrey £300,000. Things take an unexpected turn when he finds a kilo of cocaine and accidentally gets accused of sexual harassment by a cleaning lady.
Now living in exile in Sydney hoping for a quieter existence.
How I Found the Agency
I’d Googled several non-fiction agents and among them was Andrew. It soon became clear that he believed in what I was doing, was always encouraging and, unlike others, promptly returned emails and gave insightful advice. I was also impressed that he acted for both Gloria Hunniford and David Hasselhoff, both of whom I intend contacting in order to form a new Bloomsbury Set.
